Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell

Available Now

If you are one of the many, many people who were immediately captivated by the LuLaRich documentary and are waiting, somewhat patiently for more seasons of The Dream podcast, you are going to love Cultish. Montell goes in deep on the language used by various well-known cults and show the way that many new business such as gyms and clothing companies go on to adopt similar language and then can feel very similar to a cult. I really appreciated Montell’s very accessible and readable language-ha, I know-that made this such a fast paced and interesting read. Montell also provides stories told to her during her childhood, her father was associated with Synanon, and her own run-in with Scientology as a college student.

I was already familiar with MLMs and the language they use to manipulate people into joining them, but to see it laid out so clearly for such businesses as SoulCycle, CrossFit, and even Amazon, was quite stark. One of the most interesting facts to me, was how cults will often develop new words, or alter commonly used words, to create a sense of being special and “in the know” within a community. Now, after reading Cultish, it feels like I’m finding those types of phrases everywhere. This, of course, is nothing surprising, I’m just hyperaware after reading the book but it’s still jarring to find this language everywhere.

I found Cultish to be an absorbing, compelling, and highly-readable book. If you’re looking to branch out into new and different genres and non-fiction is on your list, definitely pick this one up.

You can thank me later.

If you would like to add this to your bookshelf, you can find ordering information here:

Thank you to Netgalley and Harper Wave for the opportunity to read and review this title. All opinions and mistakes are my own.

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Burnout, The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA (Repost)

This has been a stressful, depressing, and frustrating year for so many people and I find myself coming back to this book over and over again. There is something so comforting about having another person give you permission to do things for yourself to not only maintain your own health and wellbeing, but because your own happiness really matters. Burnout is one of the most accessible books on stress that I’ve come across and I found it both helpful and enjoyable to read. I previously posted last year but I just want to share it again as many of us are returning to working in-person, and some of us are dealing with changing school schedules, both of which can be extremely stressful. Also, it’s out in paperback so let’s celebrate that!

If you are the type of person who enjoys sitting around with your best friends, having a coffee or cup of tea, and getting into a deep and emotional conversation, this book will be a perfect fit for you.  The further I got into this book, the more it felt like I was right there with the authors and their best friends. It’s an incredibly accessible look at how women, and men but the book focuses on women, get caught up in a cycle of trying to meet everyone’s needs, be everything to everyone, and then got lost to the burnout that follows.  

Twin sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski combine real life stories from their own friends and statistics to provide a path to completing the stress cycle that affects so many women.  At the end of each chapter, there is a “tl;dr” list-that wonderful abbreviation for “too long, didn’t read”. In this section, the authors provide a short list of key facts and questions to help summarize the chapter-as someone who doesn’t read as much nonfiction as she should, I found this very helpful.  

I found this book to be very helpful and insightful.  There are so many layers to our stress-and how we deal with it-that we don’t necessarily think about or know what to do with.  The authors provide practical tips on how to cope with stress, how to set limits for yourself, and how in creating boundaries and limits with others we can improve our relationships with those that stress us out.  As a person who deals with chronic pain, when the authors discuss the connection between chronic illness and chronic stress, it was like, Yes! You get it! Thank you!

Guess what else contributes to burnout in women-the patriarchy.  Not surprised? I wasn’t either. I found myself nodding along as the authors discussed how the constant stress of worrying about sexual violence, body image, gaslighting and work success is ingrained in women from the day of their birth.  I initially thought that this section was just preaching to the choir-but I do think there are a lot of women out there who may not realize how deeply established these ideas were in their own upbringing and that it is ok to draw boundaries, especially to preserve your own health and happiness.  

Now, this book will not eliminate all the stress in your life.  Life is stressful. What this book will do is help with completing that stress cycle and to find that balance that we all seem to be seeking.   

You can get your copy, and help support the site, here:

Full Disclosure time: Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. All opinions are my own.

Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel

Available Now

I have been a longtime listener of the book podcast What Should I Read Next and if you haven't heard it yet, I highly recommend it. For several years now, I have trusted Anne and her soft, perfect for radio voice, to provide me with quality books in genres I don't typically read. Anne is a big believer in how learning about your personality type can help you better understand yourself and has written a book on called Reading People. Her second book, I'd Rather be Reading, is a love letter to readers everywhere about the joys of falling in love with books.

When Anne announced on her podcast that she had a third book coming out, I instantly preordered it. And just to throw this out there,  she's a mom of 4 kids, runs a podcast, a website, and teaches online classes. How does she do it all? I'm ready for her to write that book!

Don't Overthink It is full of sound advice backed by research on how to stop stressing about decisions and instead, trust our instincts and experiences to guide us into making the right decision for us. Anne gives us examples from her own life on how the stress of overthinking decisions can lead to fatigue, exasperation, and spending time stressing instead of enjoying our lives.

With our world in such a state of chaos right now, I found this book to be the calming influence I need right now. School is cancelled for at least the next month which means now we're doing remote learning. Should I have The Kid stick to his regular school day schedule or be more flexible? Will being flexible lead to us not getting all of his work done in a timely manner? Would it better to spend the day hiking-far from other people in a remote park-or spend hours on the computer completing math and science assignments? How much screen time is too much? It can be overwhelming or I can trust his teachers will be understanding about the differing needs of families and know that not everything will get done on the day it's scheduled. One should never pass up the chance to go hiking in a park that is miraculously empty of people. That bottle calf named Mae Belle who joined the farm last week, she'll be the best teacher of consistency and needing to follow schedules because that little girl lets you know when she is hungry! She can just as easily teach him patience and empathy as any of his Social Emotional assignments can.

Don’t Overthink It allowed me the confidence to trust my instincts and quit stressing about the small stuff.  And, even some of the big stuff.

I thoroughly enjoyed this title and if you would like a copy for yourself, you can get yours here:

You can find more about Anne Bogel's podcast here:

https://modernmrsdarcy.com/what-should-i-read-next/

You can find more about Anne Bogel here:

https://modernmrsdarcy.com/

More books by Anne Bogel:

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases through affiliate links.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Available now

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is an incredibly engaging and well-written story of a therapist, her therapist, and the clients that have impacted her life.  Lori Gottlieb’s writing makes you feel like you are sitting next to her-but not too close or too far away-enjoying a great cup of tea and chatting with your best friend.

After the breakup of a long term relationship, Lori Gottlieb, a therapist, finds herself not only heartbroken, but unsure of how to cope with her new reality.  Under the guise of needing a therapist referral for a client, Lori finds herself in the office of Wendell, her new therapist. From his quirky double knee tap to signal the end of the session or his comfortably frumpy office, Wendell proves to be an excellent therapist. Kind, compassionate, and caring, his guidance leads Lori on to the path that is best for her life. Many of the answers that she seeks for her own life come from the very questions that are asked of her by her own clients.  

Gottlieb gives us a behind the scenes glimpse of therapy sessions with a high maintenance Hollywood producer, a young woman dealing with a tragic illness, and a woman trying to find a steady and healthy relationship.  Gottlieb writes with such care for her characters and her own story. I found this to be highly engaging and flew through this book in one sitting.

If you would like a copy of this book for yourself, and help support the site, you can do so here:

The Lady From the Black Lagoon by Mallery O’Meara

The Lady From the Black Lagoon by Mallery O’Meara

Available now.

Full Disclosure:  I had no idea who Milicent Patrick was when I picked up this book.  I had heard amazing things about the author, about her writing, how this book was so amazing and everyone should read it-but never about the subject of whom it was written.  

Milicent Patrick is a badass.  

Milicent Patrick is the incredibly talented designer and artist who created the iconic costume for the iconic monster in The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  She led a truly interesting life. Daughter to one of the designers of Hearst Castle, Milicent was surrounded by lavish luxury and excess but lived a life of chastity and modesty.  Forbidden from dating or having male friends, Milicent grew up with her behavior tightly controlled by her parents. When she left her family to make her way as an animator in Hollywood, she was disowned by her family and cut off from her connections to her previous life.  

Honing her skills at Disney working as an animator, Milicent went on to have a successful career-and what would have been an extremely successful one if a string of jealous men hadn’t gotten in her way.  Dealing with daily misogyny and getting more attention for her figure than her talent, Milicent struggled to be taken seriously even as her work proved to be exceptional on all levels.

The Lady From the Black Lagoon is part investigative journalism, part biography, and largely a love letter to an incredibly talented woman who would spark the creative spirit in generations of young women.  Reading through this story, Mallory O’Meara shows us how difficult it is to research women from the past who have had their work either stolen from them by men, or who never received credit for their work.  We get to follow O’Meara’s journey up and down California as she tirelessly tracks down any scrap of information on Patrick she can. And let me tell you, Milicent Patrick and her ever changing names was not helpful in the least!  

Reading this book felt far more like sitting with a best friend and talking over drinks.  O’Meara writes with an engaging conversational tone and the footnotes are a must read.

If you would like to learn more about Milicent Patrick, and would like to help support the site, you can do that here:

Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin

Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin

Available now

Outer Order, Inner Calm:  Declutter & Organize to Make More Room for Happiness is the book I’ve needed to jump start my own home organization project.  Gretchen Rubin provides us with practical advice on how to get rid of the excess clutter in our homes to create a more peaceful and thoughtful environment.  Throughout the book, Rubin uses humor and grace to help guide us through the tricky situations of eliminating unwanted items from our home, even if those items are family heirlooms.  

After reading the first half of the book I promptly tackled my office.  Now, my office is a very small space and yet somehow I had managed to pack away two large garbage bags of unneeded papers, outdated electronics, dozens of half-used chapsticks, and assorted junk that had no business being there.  Just disposing of those two bags feels like a huge victory and I’m reading to tackle the next room in need of a giant purging-my bedroom. One of the best tips I took from Rubin’s book was to not try to organize as you are cleaning out a room.  If you focus on eliminating items that aren’t needed first you have fewer items that need organizing. Seems incredibly obvious but seeing on paper really drove the point home.

The book itself is a cute little hardback in shades of calming blue fading into yellows and oranges-a bit like a sunset.  At only 208 pages, it’s the perfect size to keep in your bag or gift to someone special.

If you’d like a copy for yourself and would like to help support the site, you can do so here:  

Burnout, The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA

If you are the type of person who enjoys sitting around with your best friends, having a coffee or cup of tea, and getting into a deep and emotional conversation, this book will be a perfect fit for you.  The further I got into this book, the more it felt like I was right there with the authors and their best friends. It’s an incredibly accessible look at how women, and men but the book focuses on women, get caught up in a cycle of trying to meet everyone’s needs, be everything to everyone, and then got lost to the burnout that follows.  

Twin sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski combine real life stories from their own friends and statistics to provide a path to completing the stress cycle that affects so many women.  At the end of each chapter, there is a “tl;dr” list-that wonderful abbreviation for “too long, didn’t read”. In this section, the authors provide a short list of key facts and questions to help summarize the chapter-as someone who doesn’t read as much nonfiction as she should, I found this very helpful.  

I found this book to be very helpful and insightful.  There are so many layers to our stress-and how we deal with it-that we don’t necessarily think about or know what to do with.  The authors provide practical tips on how to cope with stress, how to set limits for yourself, and how in creating boundaries and limits with others we can improve our relationships with those that stress us out.  As a person who deals with chronic pain, when the authors discuss the connection between chronic illness and chronic stress, it was like, Yes! You get it! Thank you!

Guess what else contributes to burnout in women-the patriarchy.  Not surprised? I wasn’t either. I found myself nodding along as the authors discussed how the constant stress of worrying about sexual violence, body image, gaslighting and work success is ingrained in women from the day of their birth.  I initially thought that this section was just preaching to the choir-but I do think there are a lot of women out there who may not realize how deeply established these ideas were in their own upbringing and that it is ok to draw boundaries, especially to preserve your own health and happiness.  

Now, this book will not eliminate all the stress in your life.  Life is stressful. What this book will do is help with completing that stress cycle and to find that balance that we all seem to be seeking.   

You can get your copy, and help support the site, here:

Full Disclosure time: Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. All opinions are my own.

Hygge: The Danish Art of Happiness by Marie Tourell Søderberg

Hygge is a warm, gentle hug of a book that gives you all the wonderful feelings. It has gorgeous photographs, recipes, design ideas, and a very helpful Hygge Dictionary.

Very simply put, hygge is the Danish word that describes finding happiness and joy in the little things in life. Hygge is finding the time to take walks with friends, plan a simple dinner party, meet someone for drinks, or bake rolls in the morning. It’s incorporating more candles into your decor and curling up with a good book by the fire.

It’s really refreshing to read a book that is the opposite of the current trend on how to fit it all in and be the most time efficient in your day. It’s almost like an anti-productivity guide and I’m here for it.

Hygge is far from a new release-the copy I borrowed from the Library was published in October 2016-but it’s a new read for me. I knew a little bit about the concept so I did make sure to make a cozy reading nest-soft, fluffy blanket, a good beer, and a trio of little pups curled in my lap. It was one of the most pleasant and calming reading experiences I’ve had in a long time.

If you’re looking for an excuse to slow down, get your friends together, and enjoy more in life, definitely give this one a read. I found it to be a very thoughtful look at how we spend our time and how we can focus more on the little things. The little facts and tidbits about Denmark and it’s people were very interesting. The amount of candles they go through is astounding and I found their love of sweets endearing. Everything is made better with cake.

You can find a copy, and help support the site, here:

Full disclosure: I borrowed my copy from the Library. Always check your Library first, it makes Librarians happy when you use the Library. Librarians also like book recommendations so if your Library doesn’t have it, ask them to order it.

Girl Squads by Sam Maggs

If you think that female friendships are full of competition, catfights, and spite-then you can thank all the crappy writing that has filled our books and television screens for far too long.  Sam Maggs takes a deep dive into 20 awesome female friendships that helped change the world and make it a better place.

Covering five categories-athletes, political and activist, warrior, scientist and artist squads, Maggs tells the stories of some pretty amazing ladies who stuck together to create change throughout history.  Some are pretty well known ladies like Anne Bonny and Mary Read, as well as our three amazing ladies on the U.S. Supreme Court. Others were a joy to discover like the Haenyeo free divers who are continuing the 2,500 year-old practice of diving for the various sea creatures found on the sea floor or the Trobairitz who were active during the 12th century.  

Sam Maggs covers the globe and all of time to bring us some of the most fascinating female friendships that have helped shaped history.  I really enjoyed her points on how no matter how far back you go in history, women have worked together to bring about important change. It’s been through women working together, not alone, that brought about education and equality for women.  

Maggs writing is both informative and entertaining.  Her other titles look equally awesome and I’m looking forward to checking out more of her work.  I really enjoyed this book and it would pair really well with Brazen as a great holiday gift. Hint, hint.  

Big thanks to Netgalley and Quirk Books for the free digital copy-all opinions are my own.

You can get your copy, and help support the site, here:

Sunday Library Love

Like many people this time of year, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks around here. On the heels of a chaotic Halloween week we attended the first of several winter holiday parties and need to plan future ones that we’re hosting. Meetings, school events, and just everyday housework always seem to be more work when it’s cold outside. The dining room construction is at the true messy stage and it’s starting to impact my last minute jelly making for Christmas gifts.

But it’s not all work. We had business to attend to in the same town as our favorite comic book store so of course a visit was in order. We finally got to meet the Bear at A Boy and His Tiger in Macomb. It’s an overall great shop-great service, great selection, and a great doggo. The Kid picked out a few new books and comics and I managed to keep myself to only one new book.

All of the home construction, holiday cooking, and constant clean up has had one amazing perk-I’ve listened to 3 audiobooks just this last week. All have been Library loans and paired with our overwhelming DVD selection-ALL my holds came in at once- from the Library, it’s been a Library Love type of week. That’s right-we rarely purchase or rent movies, we borrow nearly everything from the Library. Thanks to our wonderful interlibrary loan network, we have access to nearly every title and usually have a very short wait.

Listened to:

Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue

This was great on audio-the narrator was really good and there is no way I would have pronounced the main character’s names correctly. From the Publisher: Jende Jonga, a Cameroonian immigrant living in Harlem, has come to the United States to provide a better life for himself; his wife, Neni; and their six-year-old son. In the fall of 2007, Jende can hardly believe his luck when he lands a job as a chauffeur for Clark Edwards, a senior executive at Lehman Brothers. Clark demands punctuality, discretion, and loyalty - and Jende is eager to please. Clark's wife, Cindy, even offers Neni temporary work at the Edwardses' summer home in the Hamptons. With these opportunities, Jende and Neni can at last gain a foothold in America and imagine a brighter future.

However, the world of great power and privilege conceals troubling secrets, and soon Jende and Neni notice cracks in their employers' façades. When the financial world is rocked by the collapse of Lehman Brothers, the Jongas are desperate to keep Jende's job - even as their marriage threatens to fall apart. As all four lives are dramatically upended, Jende and Neni are forced to make an impossible choice.

Who Thought This was a Good Idea?  By Alyssa Mastromonaco

Read by the author, this was another great listen that I’ve been wanting to read for a long time.  Funny, honest, and not at all gossipy, this book takes us behind the scenes of political campaigns, the inner workings of the White House, and how incredibly stressful it is to work in Washington.  Mastromonaco gives advice throughout the book on how to prepare for job interviews, the do’s and don’ts of negotiations, and how to not be your own worst enemy. It’s a lot like listening to a really great friend over a glass of wine.  A definite listen for those who would like to reminisce about the time we had intelligent, capable, and caring people in the White House.

Some Enchanted Eclair by Bailey Cates

If you want mouthwatering descriptions of food, some light witchcraft, a murder mystery, and southern accents-this is your series. From the Publisher: When Hollywood invades Savannah's historic district to film a Revolutionary War movie, magical baker Katie Lightfoot and her witches' coven, the Spellbook Club, take a break from casting spells for casting calls. One of the witches snags a part as an extra, while Katie's firefighter boyfriend, Declan, acts as on-set security. Katie and her Aunt Lucy decide to stay out of the action, but after the movie's "fixer" fires the caterer, the Honeybee Bakery comes to the rescue, working their magic to keep the hungry crew happy. But when someone fixes the fixer - permanently - and a spooky psychic predicts Katie will find the killer, the charming baker and her fellow conjurers step in to sift through the suspects - before someone else winds up on the cutting room floor.

Watched:

Paddington 2

Super cute and funny.

Father Figures-The Boys picked this one.

Yeah, The Boys picked this one too.

Read:

Charlie Hernández & The League of Shadows by Ryan Calejo

This was a really great middle great adventure filled with Latino and Hispanic mythology.  I purchased it for the Library and snuck it out before the kids saw it.

Paperback Crush by Gabrielle Moss

Luckily for us, author Gabrielle Moss hit a personal and professional rut in 2016 and in an act of wanting to remove herself from reality for a bit, she purchased a crate of Sweet Valley High paperbacks on eBay. Her birthday gift to herself put her on a path to give us the perfect present-Paperback Crush is an absolutely delightful walk down nostalgia lane.

Moss takes a deep dive into the impact the early days of YA fiction had on our expectations of friends, family, and school. She lets us in on the secrets and life lessons those early novels taught us as we followed the antics of the Babysitter Club. How we learned that young love is both amazing and frustrating and if you’re not careful, you may end up kissing just like those in a Judy Blume novel. Moss does an incredible job of covering everything related to these wonderfully awkward tweenie series-the novel covers, character diversity, life lessons, and how the story lines evolved over the decades. What began as sweet little stories in the post-war boom of the 40’s, by the 80’s, readers were learning how incredibly scary the real world is.

Paperback Crush also has author interviews from YA authors Candice Ransom, Rhys Bowen, Caroline Cooney, and Christopher Pike. I really enjoyed the behind the scenes look at how many of those iconic covers were created and how the models were chosen.

I found Paperback Crush to be a fun and honest take on the novels that so many of us grew up with. It’s an absolutely delightful read and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more.

You can get your copy, and help support the site, here:  

Diet for a Changing Climate by Christy Mihaly and Sue Heavenrich

Just this week, the United Nations released a report on climate change that was filled with dire warnings. I won’t go in to the details because I am the furthest thing from an expert you will find. I did this article from the New Yorker to be the most accessible to my non-expert brain. Now that everyone is sufficiently scared, let’s take a more lighthearted approach to our problem.

Let’s eat bugs.

Diet for a Changing Climate is an interesting and informative read on how we can adapt our diet to positively impact our environment. This book is full of facts on "unusual" food sources such as insects, kudzu and foraging for wild greens. Who knew some of the most nutritious additions to our dinner salad are right in our yard? Unfortunately, most of us use toxic chemicals to remove those pesky dandelions and chickweed from our yards. Kudzu, which has taken over the southern states of the U.S. is also a tasty sandwich wrap, tea, and can be used to make jelly.

Did you know stinkbugs taste like apples? No clue. Crickets in your protein bars? I guess…just don’t tell me? I don’t think I’m ready to jump on the bug protein wagon, but if the idea sounds good to you, this book is full of recipes. From how to identify your insect, harvesting, and cooking, this book covers it all.

The authors have included some really great and colorful graphics in this book. There’s plenty of recipes, tips and tricks to incorporating climate friendly food sources into our daily lives.

Equal parts gross and fascinating, this book will show how to change the way we look at invasive species. This would be perfect for the science nut or a budding climatologist in your life. Diet for a Changing Climate: Food for Thought by Christy Mihaly and Sue Heavenrich is available October 1, 2018.

You can get your copy, and help support the site, here:

Full disclosure: I received an advanced copy of this book from the Netgalley and the Publisher, all opinions are my own.